why am i like this??

do i burden everyone around me??
why when i act nicely you just don't accept it??
when i do everything according to the book it's all wrong..
when i'm doing in in my own way also it's wrong..
why stuff like this happen to me??
what is my purpose in this world??


it's hard to live like this..it's really hard..i don't like it..i got no one to go to when i have problems..not even my family..why?? just because i care about them..i care about everyone in my life..there are three people that i really care about but among the three there is one i really really care about..that person just change my life like a lot..among the three the one i really care change my life..really affect my life..i really want to take care of people around me..i don't want to make them mad or anything..but it's hard if they treat me like i'm just a tool..what can i do is just shut the hell up and smile..i can't do anything about it..if i try to change or fix it..it will only get worse..so to avoid that i just kept quite..i really want to talk to someone but everyone is just to damn busy..well..maybe this is my destiny..maybe fate wanted me to live this miserable life cause it know i can kept it in my heart till the day i die..>.<..if i think it that way it seem like my problems is just starting..it's gonna be worse in the future..i don't know..maybe..

sorry!!

how i wish i haven't met any of them..
everyone i met end up hurt by me..
if i can have anything in the world i only want one thing..i was never born into this world..
T_T..sorry everyone..

Why?? i don't know why..

it's just a funny thing that i always got fooled around by others..

just being used for a certain time then just abandoned me right on the spot..

i admit i made some mistake but i'm a human after all.. i'm not a perfect human being that doesn't make any mistake..

the funny thing is everyone that i want to be closed too abandoned me in the end..i just don't wanna hurt them or anything..i just want them to be happy for the rest of their life.. if i do hurt them i just want them to hate me for the rest of their life and wasn't burden by my problems.. i know they got their own problems thats why i do something stupid..

even though they hate me i will always care for them till the day i die..

it's better for me to just stay away from everyone..but i can't.. i just don't have the resources to go away from here.. why in the world i have to meet them.. i just don't know why but God made it that way so i have to improvise everything in my life..

even thought i got fooled..i'm happy about it.. i got the chance to know a little about them..

they got their own friends anyway..

one more thing i don't understand in this world is why in the hell you contacted me in the first place if you were not talking to me.. it's just weird..