time flies..

it's almost 1 year.. 12 more days and it will be.. should i continue my studies or should i work after i finish?? i still trying to figure that out.. i think i'm getting used to living alone like this.. no problems.. no complains.. no nothing.. it's just quiet here.. it's peaceful..it's empty.. it's lonely.. it's not fun at all.. it's really not fun at all.. my heart is aching again..haha.. i can't never live a life without a broken heart.. i don't know what to say.. being sad just stops your brain from thinking what you want to say..then till next time..

bloggie..

T.T..i'm sad.. my heart is aching..and i don't know why i am sad.. why can't it go away?? why the sadness stay with me.. bloggie T.T.. imagine that you can talk back..i would be damn freaking happy.. haha.. i want to be happy.. but how?? it's something impossible for me to have because i'm always sad for no reason.. maybe there is a reason but i didn't realize it?? i shall try to figure it out.. till the next post..

alone

bloggie.. i miss you..haha.. long time i didn't write anything here.. i wanna tell you about my dream some time ago..it was very fun.. actually i don't know how to express it.. it's just a lot of emotion happening at the same time.. i got to dance with a pretty girl.. in the dream i felt like i've known that girl for a very long time.. i couldn't remember her face though.. it was a nice dream even though i don't even know that person..haha.. still i prefer to stay in my dream rather to face this reality.. my reality is not to say very horrible.. just say that i like dream more than reality.. i'm still wondering if i ever going to meet the girl that i saw when i was working in klcc that day.. haha.. impossible.. how the hell i'm going to see that 1 person again among billions of people in the world.. it is never wrong to have hope of meeting her again.. anyway bloggie.. i don't what to do anymore.. i don't want to do anything anymore.. it's just not right to do anything anyway.. sometimes i wish i got amnesia where i forgot about everything about me.. and can never regain back any memory about myself.. that would be fun.. sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to..then i remembered you bloggie..sorry for not being active for awhile.. it's just that i'm easily distracted with my life.. that's why i almost forgot about you bloggie.. i'll try to post more often.. and patapon 3 is very freaking awesome..haha.. that's all for now..later bloggie..

T.T

do i even have a right to have friend?? will i ever have a friend that is always there no matter what?? i think i don't even deserve a friend.. i just kept hurting them somehow.. i don't even know what i do wrong sometimes.. my heart ache every time.. it really hurt but what can i do.. i am destined to be like this.. this is what people call fate.. why do i worry about that person anyway?? i always worry to much about her.. weird.. i kind of want something like in movies happen to me.. why can't i just meet a girl and fall in love with her?? is it something forbidden for me?? maybe..haha.. i don't know what to say about that.. i can't even get a friend.. i mean a true friend.. how can i expect to fall in love with someone right?? what is love anyway?? why can't i get it?? is it because of my fate?? it seems so.. actually i think i am in love with someone.. maybe i'm not also.. actually i don't know.. i'm sad every time i think of her.. i'm worried when i don't know what is happening to her.. i'm afraid to talk to her.. i'm scared of losing her.. my heart is aching again..haha.. i really miss her.. how i wish everything was just a dream.. i'm really tired of losing every person that i met.. i cannot fight my fate.. maybe one day i try to convince myself that i'm alone in this world.. i cannot think anymore.. till next time bloggie.. how i miss complaining to you..T.T..

weird

life is weird.. how many time i said that?? i don't know what to do anymore.. it's just so complicated.. i'm really speechless about it..