it has to be done..

now the waiting.. i don't know how long the chain reaction will take but i hope it will be as soon as possible.. it would be better.. muahahahahahahaha.. why am i doing this?? this is what i called changing the routine of my life.. maybe there is a possibility that i get out of this routine that have been in my life for a very long time.. anyway.. it's better to be isolated by everyone.. hahaha.. it's just the best thing that could ever happen to me.. i just hope it really happen.. cause now that i realize that my life would be better the miserable it gets.. its no use if you try to explain to anyone.. the wouldn't not understand it anyway.. i'm not like some ordinary people that can have friends and family by their side.. i only exist to suffer.. the more i suffer the more happy i am.. maybe i'm a psychopath or maybe i just got a mental problem.. haha.. it would be fun if i turn to someone crazy.. that would be cool..