I just feel like there is no where else for me to talk rather than here..even if it's weird to talk alone but it's the only thing that I can do..I don't really know what to talk about but I just want to write something..writing here makes me think more about my own life and what I have to do to avoid people.. I guess this place is a sort of a diary for me..Where I complain about how terrible things I'm doing to people..What I deserve for hurting people..What I deserve for being weird.. I know I keep repeating the same thing in every post but that is only thing I can talk about..how to talk about I'm very happy when I'm not.. everyday is a painful day for my heart..It just ache every time.. Every minute..Every second..I know I'm depressed.. I don't want any medicine for that.. cause I deserve to be like this after all that I've done to people..After everything..I deserve every single ounce of hate and misery that the world can give.. its better when everyone hate you cause you won't be in their life to hurt them..Everyone can be avoided from getting hurt by me.. even if I wish to be happy I know I just can't. .cause this is the path that have been decided for me..even if there was a choice given the road will eventually return back to this path. .I just want to run away and be away from humans so that I won't be any inconvenience to them..