It's a must

I have to avoid everyone today no matter what.. I need to start now..If not I will only repeat the same mistake like I did in the past..I've been repeating the same mistake since last time and I never learn from it.. After being hurt for so many times I need to change it.. even if it's lessen the pain just a little..I need to do it..I have been in this state for far too long and I don't want to have another breakdown like I did last time..I guess that was the worst point that I ever experience..I know that at some point it might repeat itself..that's why I need to lessen the pain so that it won't reach that critical point..yeah..I'm scared actually..I'm very scared of myself and what I might do..I can't even predict what I'm going to do..sometimes my body just react to my feelings..I don't know why I can't control it..maybe something else took over me and I'm actually just stuck in my own mind unable to do anything..I just don't know how to take control of my body back..sometimes like now I am myself..But most of the time I'm just in my mind..I know I really need help or I think I should be locked up in an asylum..its not that I can't. .just my body won't let me..After being left that day it almost made me crazy..ya I really did almost went crazy..my body never listen to me..It just says and do whatever it wants..I just don't know what to do..I know I'm not telling it to anyone..I guess it's just better if no one is involve..too many people got hurt..its just not worth it to get anyone hurt anymore..